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Let's get real here a second folks. You are not, nor wil you ever be, your automobile. An automobile is quite simply, a form of transportation. So, though you may think of your shiny metal box as something more than transportation, it is not. So, to the crux of the argument here. Eighty year old men should not drive red convertible Mustangs. Mid-twenty yuppies should not be boastful about their three-series Beamer. And finally, kids (of the high school variety) should not be driving anything with a price tag of over about $5,000. Now why you may ask. Why should these things not occur? Well, I'll start with Grandpa and move from there: Grandpa looks like an idiot. That is the simplest reason why he should not tool around town in a Mustang. Stated another way: Old Pops refuses to grow up. He's still cruising town looking for any twenty year old that might be stupid enough to believe that a $25,000 car indicates wealth and who is further stupid enough to think that by banging him she may someday soon inherit his Mustang! Humiliation is bad enough at the hands of another, one should not willfully inflict humiliation on one's self. Sadly, Gramps needs to get a clue. If for some reason he has to bed that 20-something down the street, at least get a Jag XK8 or an Aston-Martin. Something that gives the outward impression that although he's just a horny old bastard he's a horny old bastard with class. Otherwise he looks like the schlep that doesn't realize every damn high school kid in a moderately well to do school district already drives a Mustang. Next, the yuppie. I've more than had my fill of these fucks. Parading around like some quasi-corporate idiot in the sedan that says, "That's right.... I am a member of the ruling herd." Really Captain Pompous, drop the ego thing and realize you drive the same damn car, in the same damn black, while wearing the same damn $200 suit, that everyone else our age does. You are not unique, nor are you mature, nor are you a conniseur of good taste, or any other thing that you think your "Ultimate Driving Machine" indicates that you are. More likely, you are just another idiot who is trying to suck the dick of the person directly above you on the corporate food chain so you can get a few more dollars and buy a little larger five series. (Then you'll lead the good life I'm sure...) Hmmm..... who is next.... The kiddies.... really though this one belongs to the parents. It is inane and further absurd that anyone would entrust a child of 16 or 17 years with a vehicle with a value of over $5,000. Why people....???? Kids wreck cars. further, it may be adventageous to teach your kiddies that you don't always get what you want. And mommy and daddy do not need to shell out $25,000 for a new Mustang to make Grandpa jealous. Kids should be driving a '79 Monte Carlo, or an '85 Blazer, or the like when they get their license. Let them beat the hell out of it. They can pile it up to no ill effect. Stop playing kiss ass with your kids and giving them all of your money. Teach them the value of working to save enough cash to buy their first car. Anyway.... that seems to be enough of this diatribe for now...... Thanks for listening.
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You Are Not Your Car ~